August 5, 1980

I can't believe how much time has gone by...

August 5, 1980 was the last day that I saw my birth mother. It has been 28 years. Absolutely unbelievable. I don't remember much about her. I only know stories that I have been told. The story that I was told of this day in particular was that my father came home to find a note on the kitchen table stating that my mother took me to the babysitter's so that she could go grocery shopping. My father came and picked me up and we went home and waited & waited & waited. She never did come back.

I often wonder how different my life would be had she been a part of my life. I was raised by a single father so I obviously was quite tomboyish. My father married in 1993 to a woman named Linda. We had a joke between us. She called me "Mandyrella" and she was the "wicked stepmother". Unfortunately, she passed away April 14, 2002. I miss her terribly. She was the only mother I have ever known.

If only I could turn back the hands of time.....

Just Think Positive...

Well, I haven't posted in a while, so I've got a bit of an update to share. On June 30th, I started my new job at Elexco Land Services. So far, I love it and my supervisor said that I'm catching on very quickly and doing an excellent job. I've been inputting natural gas, petroleum and oil leases into their computer system, which seems to be pretty easy. She is going to start me on something new Monday morning, so we'll see what next week brings. I hope that this will help us to be able to move our family in a more positive direction.

I hope that everyone enjoyed their 4th of July and were able to come together as one to help celebrate our nation's independence. I, on the other hand, was in extreme pain and masked it pretty well for my children's sake so that they could see the fireworks down in Olean. But by the time that I woke up on the 5th, I could mask the pain no longer. I couldn't even take a step without tears coming to my eyes. So, we made the journey over to Bradford ER and things just got worse from there. The receptionist in the ER had me registered as Melissa Knepp instead of Mandy Knapp. She had my birthdate as 8/16/79 instead of my actual birthdate. When someone actually realized the mistake, that account had to be deleted and I had to start all over from square one. Meanwhile, the pain is becoming excruciating and I'm becoming very irritated. After another extended waiting period, I am finally registered correctly and back in a room in the ER. The nurse comes in and gives me my gown and leaves. After I undressed and put the gown on, she returned. She asked to take a look at my "problem area". When she did, her face went white, she said "Ouch!", left the room and returned with a whole table full of supplies. My eyes widened when I saw the stack of needles, but I became a bit relieved when she showed me the bottle of Lidocaine that she said the physician intended to use. She got everything ready and then I just had to wait for the physician to come in and check things out. I was put flat on my back so I obviously couldn't see anything, but from the look on Dan's face while he was watching (he was explaining something about a scalpel and some tweezer-looking instruments), as well as all the bloody gauzes that the doctor threw away, I guess things got pretty messy. The physician also withdrew a vial of fluid that he was sending to the lab as precautionary measures to make sure it wasn't something more serious than he had diagnosed me with. So hopefully, no news is good news. After a quick patch job and some discharge instructions, I was on my way home. Immediately, I could tell there was some relief when it was no longer painful to take a step. I was also finally able to get a good night's sleep last night. This morning, I awoke refreshed and ready to take on the day.

God Bless America!

Job World...Here I Come

Well, I got the job at Elexco that I interviewed for on Friday. I start on Monday, June 30th @ 8:30am. I'm very excited and nervous all at the same time. I'm more excited though because this extra income will mean that much more towards us getting the new house. I will keep you updated on that aspect. Wish me luck!!!

Also, for all of you that are familiar with the Olean area program of "Woodland in the City", my new employer, Elexco has their own squirrel.

My Hopes are on the Rise

This is probably going to be a pretty short post because I'm too excited to talk/type right now. I just got off the phone and I have a job interview tomorrow at 2 p.m. down in Olean. It's not doing the Phlebotomy or anything of that nature, which I would have liked, but at least for now, it's definitely something. My family needs everything they can get right now. This job would be for a company called Elexco. It's a gas and oil company and I'd be doing the data entry for the company.

On a brighter note, I hope that this new job works out and that we can buy the house that we have been looking at. Where we are now is just getting too small for all of us as the twins are getting bigger.

Here are a few pics:

The house

The kitchen

Living room/Stairs

Other half of living room/Stairs

One of the bedrooms (It has 4)

Dan's Pride & Joy -- The Garage

Carport/Pool

This is a craft shop that the old woman that had the house had. I'm not sure what to do with it but Dan said that he's going to make a "Trophy Room" of sorts out of it. Display his Avon collection, my Tony Stewart collection, and any racing trophies that he has now and will get in the future. Plus whatever the kids get in the future.

My Husband's Blog

I just wanted everyone to know that Dan has made a blog that has all his cars -- classic & current -- for sale.

One Man's Junk is Another Man's Treasure

Check it out!!!

Well, here I go again...

I told myself after I was done with Phlebotomy school (May 21, 2008) and with getting my Associate's in Educational Paraprofessional (June 24, 2008) that I was done with school. Period! But, I just can't help myself. At this very moment, I have a fax going to admissions to continue on with my educational journey. I am now going on to attain my Associate of Applied Science in Medical Assisting. I thought this would be a good step since I've just completed my Phlebotomy training and these two fields pretty much go hand in hand. I've also got my EMT certification and I'm a CNA.

Let me explain a bit about what a Medical Assistant (MA) might do. A MA is a health care professional that performs the administrative and clinical duties that keep the physician's offices or any other health practitioners office running smoothly. MA duties vary from office to office, depending on the location and size of the practice, and the practitioner’s specialty. In small practices, MA's are usually generalists handling both administrative and clinical duties, and reporting directly to an office manager, physician, or other health practitioner. Those in large practices tend to specialize in a particular area, under the supervision of department administrators.

As MA's are not licensed professionals they are always required by law to work under the direct supervision of a licensed health care provider such as a physician, registered nurse, nurse practitioner or physician assistant whenever they provide direct (hands-on) patient care procedures. Some states require that MA's who draw blood for lab tests are certified, and have passed a practical examination as part of their phlebotomy training. (Got that part out of the way already!) MA's perform many administrative duties, including answering telephones, greeting patients, updating and filing patients’ medical records, filling out insurance forms, handling correspondence, scheduling appointments, arranging for hospital admission and laboratory services, and handling billing and bookkeeping.

Clinical duties vary according to state law and include taking medical histories and recording vital signs, explaining treatment procedures to patients, preparing patients for examination, and assisting the physician during the examination. MA's collect and prepare laboratory specimens or perform basic laboratory tests on the premises, dispose of contaminated supplies, and sterilize medical instruments. They instruct patients about medications and special diets, prepare and administer medications as directed by a physician, authorize drug refills as directed, telephone prescriptions to a pharmacy, draw blood, prepare patients for X-rays, take electrocardiograms, remove sutures, and change dressings. Last but not least they serve as direct link and communicator between patient, physician, and other health care professionals whenever there is a need.

Happy Birthday, Jackie!!!

I'd like to wish my friend, Jackie, a happy birthday today. I hope that you are enjoying Maine and I hope to see you sometime soon. I hope that you enjoy your day!!!

P.S. I didn't have a picture of you, unless you wanted me to break out our high school yearbooks, so I "borrowed" one from your MySpace. =)

It's Official...

It is official. I am now a Phlebotomist. I took my Final Exam last night for the class. I don't know my exact grade that I got on it because there were some essay questions that the Instructor has yet to grade, but I do know that I did well enough to pass the test, and in turn, pass the course. I am so excited!!! Now I just need you all to keep me in your hopes & prayers so that I can find a job...and find it quickly! Lord knows how badly we are struggling.

Happy 55th Birthday, Linda-Mom

Today is my step-mother's 55th birthday. I wish she were here to celebrate it with me, but sadly, she passed away on April 14, 2002. I recall some of our past memories, both good and bad. I was so used to having my father's attention all to myself that I tried so hard to push away any women who tried to interfere in OUR lives. But Linda was different. She stuck by my Dad's side no matter what happened. And I'm so glad she did. She was the only mother I have ever known, as my own mother abandoned me on August 5, 1980 -- a week before I turned 3. The memory I recall the most is her nickname for me -- Mandyrella. I was Cinderella and she was the wicked step-mother. That was our own personal joke from the time she came into my life until the sad day that she departed.

She was so young and had so much life left to live. I guess God needed her in Heaven more than we needed her here on Earth.

Here is a birthday poem just for her:

She was my stepmother,

And she was proud to be,

God had given her this important job,

And it is Him she aimed to please.

She was my stepmother,

A promise to me she had made,

To guide me and protect me,

And to teach me in God's ways.

She was my stepmother,

In some ways different,Some the same,

No matter how she's seen by the outside world,

She always knew her place.

She was my stepmother,

My father's partner for life,

She showed me how to be a mom,

And how to be a wife.

She was my stepmother,

She did struggle, She did cry.

When my innocence was threatened,

She stood, and promised to fight.

For she told me I am the future,

I am precious,I am worthy,

And she tried,To give me everything within her power,

Everything that is right.

She understood if she received no credit,

She was prepared to accept all blame,

All the wonderful joys of having a place in my life,

She said were worth all the tears and pain.

She has taught me the meaning of selfless love,

The value of every second of life.

I am so blessed to see the world,And myself,

Through Linda's eyes.

I love and miss you so much, Linda. I hope that you can rest in eternal peace.

Definitely Time for an Update

Well, it's been quite some time since I've actually updated this blog, so I figured it was long overdue. The entire Knapp household has been extremely busy. I am still doing my Phlebotomy course. I am done with the classroom part of it and I am in the clinical phase of it. I spent 2 weeks at the Port Health Clinic (Dr. Tronetti's office in the old Port Hospital), and my 3rd week at Charles Cole Memorial Hospital. I will be done with my clinicals this Friday and will spend time studying for my Final Exam, which will be held on May 19th.

I met some great new friends while working at the Port Health Clinic. I'd like to introduce to you Melanie

and MJ

I hope to be able to keep these 2 as life long friends. They made my learning experience such a joy that I almost forgot that I was actually learning something.

I have just started my last term of college at Kaplan. I graduate from there on June 24th with my Associate's of Science degree. I think that once I complete this degree that I am going to continue on to get my Associate's of Science in Medical Assisting.

As for Dan, he's still working over in Smethport at the Tire Shop. He seems to like it, which I knew that he would because he loves to work outdoors.

Jacob & Hannah are still in preschool. They are both doing great and loving school. Jacob is coming closer and closer to being completely potty trained. He's staying dryer for much longer periods of time now. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Let It Go...

There are people who can walk away from you. When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

Don't try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...Let it go!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...Let it go!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...Let it go!

If someone has angered you...Let it go!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...Let it go!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...Let it go!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...Let it go!

If you have a bad attitude...Let it go!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...Let it go!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...Let it go!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...Let it go!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...Let it go!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...Let it go!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...Let it go!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.Let it go!

The Judge

Sadly, we are critiqued,
By the people that we know.
By title or occupation,
And by the possessions that we show.

We judge by skin color,
Or by awards received.
By church denomination,
And by what we believe.

We're judged by what we spend,
Or by what we give.
We're judged by age and gender,
And by where we live.

We're judged by our past,
And by our education,
By the language that we speak,
Or by our nation.

We evaluate cosmetically.
We judge both fat and small.
We judge by one's appearance.
Fact is, we judge it all!

Some judge because they're paid to.
Some judge intentionally.
Some judge to build self worth,
Some unwillingly.

BEWARE, for there is only One,
Who evaluates every stain and smudge.
Good luck amateur critics of humanity,
When you face that Judge!

B.G. Wetherby

Some new Pics of my Kids

On March 12, I took a trip over to Coudersport to my twins' preschool. We celebrated Parent's Day there. They showed me all that they do and all the projects that they have been working on. It was quite a day.

Here is Jacob and me at Parent's Day


Here is Hannah and myself

Stay tuned for more..............

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to leave an Easter blog on here. I've been so busy studying for this Phlebotomy class that I haven't had much extra time for anything.

We didn't do too much yesterday. We spent most of the morning together. In the afternoon, we all went up to get some pictures of some of the cars that Dan is trying to sell. Then we came home and got all cleaned up. We went to dinner at Mom's at 2 and was there till about 4. We came home and just chilled out for the remainder of the day. I spent the majority of that time, as well as all day today, trying to study for my Phlebotomy exam tomorrow.

Anyone have any good reminders on how to remember the blood flow through the heart, and the various blood vessels & blood cells? Wish me luck...

My Top 10 Joys...

10. Being on a road trip with my children and husband. It makes me feel like I can just let my hair down and cast all my cares away.

9. I am amazed at the progress that my children are making with their potty training. Hannah is completely free of diapers & Jacob is only wearing them to bed.

8. My family – I don't know where I would be without them. Dan is always there to be my support. He's constantly telling me that I've come too far to give up now, whether talking about school or my weight loss journey. Watching my kids grow is simply amazing. Hannah knows her ABC's and can count to 10. Jacob is a bit behind her, but I have faith that he'll catch up.

7. I am amazing myself with my educational limits. I never thought in a million years I could accomplish all that I have since last January when I started going to Kaplan. Now I am going to BOCES too.

6. I love to watch my twins interact with one another. Hannah is definitely the leader & Jacob is the follower. Whatever Hannah does, Jacob does the exact same thing. It is so cute.

5. The races. Nothing like sitting on hard, wooden bleachers for 3 hours watching cars go around in a dirt circle throwing dust in your face!

4. I love to read for pleasure when I have the time, which hasn't been very often, as of late. I just like to escape from reality sometimes. My favorites are mysteries or romance. My favorite author is Dean R. Koontz.

3. Tea -- sweet southern-brewed ice tea. There is simply nothing like it.

2. TV -- I so wish I had cable service right now. I'm missing American Idol something awful.

1. Shopping – I love to go shopping, but I just can never afford it. Hopefully that will all change here shortly.

Life is getting better & better...

OK, so I'm sure some of you have probably noticed that I have not been around too much the past 2 days. There's pretty good reason for that. On Friday, I had the intervew for the acceptance into my Phlebotomy class. I had a babysitter arranged to show up at noon so that I could run over to Smethport to take Dan to the bank while he was on his lunch break and we'd planned on getting a quick bite together while I was there. Well, 12:00 turned into 12:30 and still no babysitter. I was frantically calling to see if I could find someone else at such short notice. Low and behold, I get ahold of my husband's nephew to come sit with them until the actual babysitter shows up.

So I head over to Smethport. I get to Dan's work and find out that he's not there. His boss told me that he took off with the company truck. So I head downtown to search for Dan. I find him at the local grocery store and explain to him what happened and that now I don't have time to take him to the bank or get some lunch. He gives me some money so that I can grab a quick bite after my appointment.

So I head over to Shinglehouse. I head to my old Alma Mater to pick up a copy of my high school transcripts. While waiting for them to be copied, I run into my old Home Ec teacher, Mrs. Perkins. WOW!!! She looks fantastic. She has lost a dramatic amount of weight. So we catch up for a few minutes and I realize how old I am getting when she tells me that her son, Kayle, is now a Junior in college. I used to babysit this child and he's now a Junior in college???

From my old school, I head to Jason's house to visit with him for a few minutes before I had to get to my interview. I always love visiting with Jason. He just talks & talk & talks so all I have to do is just listen & nod. I love him & don't know what I'd do without him.

So, it's quarter to 2 and I'm heading to my appointment at BOCES in Olean, which isn't until 2:30. I arrive at BOCES about 2:15, reapply my lip stick and gather my things. I walk in, sign the sign in sheet and tell the receptionist that I was there for an interview with Theresa. She directs me to where her office is located. There is already a girl in there with her, which I happen to know, so I sit in the chair out in the hallway to await my turn. After about 5 minutes, it was my turn to be interviewed. Much to my relief, the interview wasn't really an "interview" per se, but just a couple of questions to determine how much I was really willing to put into this class & how flexible I was. So I spent about 15 minutes in Theresa's office and she tells me that I am accepted! I was sooooo excited & happy.

I leave BOCES and head over to the nearest Burger King to pick up a quick lunch, hit the drive thru & drive over to Bradford. I had to take the acceptance letter that I had just received from BOCES to PA Careerlink so that they can get my funding approved. I have to go back to PA Careerlink on Wednesday to get all the rest of the papers finalized.

So I head to Eldred to pick up the babysitter and then we head over to Smethport to pick up Dan from work. We go home & Dan gets ready for our "date".

We head to Olean and hit Aldi's for a few groceries before they close. (Nice date so far, eh? Just wait...it gets better! lol) We come out of Aldi's to a blinding snow storm and we all know how I get when the roads are bad! So, I think that we got our groceriesn, our next stop would be dinner. Wrong! Next stop...Advance Auto Parts! He had to pick up some things for his car, so I go in to see if I can find anything Tony Stewart in there like an air freshener or something. Nothing!

Now, I'm really getting hungry. I thought we'd go somewhere we hadn't been before, or at least somewhere we hadn't been in a while. Again, wrong! Into the Chinese Buffet we go. Told ya we were stuck in a rut! But it was nice to get away for a while and have some adult conversation.

So, all in all, it was a great day & night.

Groceries, auto parts, and chinese food......what more can a girl ask for?

Stay tuned for more........

Great News!!!

I have GREAT news to share. I stepped on the scale yesterday and found out that I have lost yet another 15 pounds! All together since I have been dieting I have dropped an amazing 48 pounds and 7.3 off of my BMI!!! I tried on a pair of my old pants that I used to wear and I can pull them down without having to unbutton or unzip them. What a great feeling that was!

Thank you to all my friends and family for their continued support during my weight loss journey!

How RUDE!!!!

Why do some people find the incessant need to be so completely rude? It is so totally uncalled for.

Dan & I are in the market to buy me a "gently used" car when taxes come in, so I've been shopping around on some of the local ISP classifieds. One that I use a lot is Pennswoods.net. They offer a wide variety of classified categories where you can usually find a little bit of everything for sale. Well, after I had my accident with the semi back in the Winter of '96, I have been petrified to drive in the snow since, so I was looking for something that would go good in the snow. I came across this 1996 Subaru Outback, which just happens to be All Wheel Drive. Perfect, I thought. So Dan has me ask the seller a couple questions about the car that are not listed. The seller emails me back asking if I could call him. Well, for one thing, I do not have any long distance and I politely told him that. He replies back to me that if I can't call him back, then I don't want the car that bad!!! So I "politely" replied back to him with some choice words of my own. I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right, but I feel that man was just down right rude to me for no reason. All he had to do was answer a couple questions for my husband about the car, but he felt the need to be mean instead.

He just lost my $1,000!!!

Words of Wisdom

Hello folks. I just have to pass this along. If you live in or around the Potter County area, or you plan to visit, be sure to read Solomon's Words. It's a great blog that is updated MANY times a day with a lot of useful and interesting information. It is written daily by Potter County resident, James Jones, who has written for many other distinguished medias such as the Buffalo Courier Express, Olean Times Herald, and First Place Editorial, just to name a few. So grab a cup of coffee and stop by to read some of Solomon's Words. You won't regret that you did!

Time for Change

Well all, I felt that my blog was in dire need of some change. Those old polka dots were driving me nuts! How do you like this layout?

Classes are going pretty good so far for me. I just started Unit 2 yesterday. This should prove to be quite an interesting term.

I made an appointment for my physical yesterday for my Phlebotomy class and the doctor's office can't get me in until the 13th. Classes start on the 25th so I hope that I'm able to get everything done in time.

Dan's work-work-working as usual. He's really liking working in the outdoors.

Hannah & Jacob are progressing very nicely on their potty training. If Hannah keeps waking up dry as she has for the past couple weeks, I will take her out of Pull-Ups completely. I think that Jacob is going to need a bit more time.

They both enjoyed "Silly Feet Day" at preschool this week.

I really am still on the face of the Earth...

Yes, everyone… I didn’t fall off. I’ve just been a bit busier than usual. My classes for school started up again, so I’m focusing on them a lot. This term, I’m taking Sociology, Social Problems, and Career Development Strategies. It’s hard to believe I only have 1 term left after this one and I’ll have my Associate’s degree.

I’ve also been taking classes through the PA Careerlink to help me get funding for my Phlebotomy course. That course starts on February 25th, so wish me luck with that. I’ll be taking 4 classes at 2 different schools! They’ll both be ending just about the same time. I really thought that I wanted to go into the Education field, but I keep finding myself being pulled into the medical field in some aspect or another. I think that I’ll be very happy with Phlebotomy. It’s something that I’ve always been interested in.

The kids are doing very well with their potty training. A few accidents here & there, but that’s to be expected. I’m very proud of them!

I also wanted to add a family picture. It was taken at our Christmas party.

A Poem to My Girlfriends

Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be skinnier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house...

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~~ might be lonely.
And the word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.'
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
'I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!'
'Winners make things happen ~~ Losers let things happen.'

Be 'Blessed' Ladies

Happy 2008!!!

Well, so far, 2008 has been pretty good. We're starting things off with a bang around here. I spent New Year's Eve with my good friends, Kim & Jay. Dan's not one for drinking so he stayed home with the kids. I think Kim, Jay & I were just as lit as the ball that was dropping in NYC.

I also made a few New Year's resolutions:

1. Continue on my weight loss journey with more dedication.
2. Spend more "quality" time with Jacob & Hannah.
3. Get my marriage back on track.
4. Quit smoking!!!
5. Get Jacob & Hannah out of Pull-Ups

I started very intently working on potty training with Jacob & Hannah today. They were excited about getting to wear real underwear.

I gave them a bath about noon today and when they got out, instead of putting them in their Pull-Ups, I put them in actual underwear. I then took them to sit on the potty every 30 minutes afterwards. Jacob has gone "pee-pee" every single time with no accidents in his tightie whities "like Daddy", but Hannah, unfortunately, had an accident at about 2:30 this afternoon. So at about 3:00, I put them on the potty one last time and then laid them down for a nap. I put them back in a Pull-Up for their nap...just in case.

I can't believe how fast they are growing up!

Stay tuned for more.............